First the holocaust, now this. I was tempted to title this post, “Worst Night Ever.” I didn’t change it because the night wasn’t that bad, it was. I just want to save that title for when something really bad happens, like the bar gets hit by an asteroid (hopefully on my night off.) Kimi saw [...]
Bartenders and whores have many things in common. Most importantly, they are both occupations for the young. I know that aging bartenders move to day shifts or the airport and I’m sure whores aren’t much different. Every once in a while I’m reminded of my age. Yesterday it was merely minutes after I clocked in [...]
I don’t know if I’ve ever enjoyed a St. Patrick’s Day since I began bartending. At it’s best, it’s a tsunami of drunks yelling and screaming for your attention in the sheer hope that their next car bomb will make them black out and forget all about St. Patrick’s Day. At it’s worst, it’s three [...]
For those who read last weekend about the occasional drip that amounted to Chinese water torture, it turned into a leak. A drip I can deal with, a leak makes me think that it will only get bigger until the roof caves in on my head. Call me a pessimist, I can take the criticism, [...]
Saturday should’ve been epic. First of all, it was SATURDAY. Second of all, it was nearly eighty degrees in Santa Monica. I figured if there was gonna be a Saturday that was a vast improvement over the joke of a night Friday was, it would’ve been last night. It was better, if only for a [...]
I truly love the anonymity of the internet. I can kick back in the privacy of my own home with a bucket of lube and a never ending stream of fascinating videos. (I’m partial to the ones where the tranny gets fucked by the water buffalo.) Unfortunately, there’s a dark side to the anonymity. (Yes, even [...]
I remember when Chuck Conroy first came into O’Brien’s. With his boston accent and his aw shucks demeanor, I figured he just moved to town. He would drink his Bass Ale and eat his Shepherd’s Pie, and proclaim it the best Shepherd’s Pie ever. He was a really sweet guy. He would ask me, “Have [...]
After a long night, one of the most cathartic moments is ringing the bell for last call. Personally, I like to ring the shit out of it. On a regular night, I bellow loudly, “Last Call.” On a really tough night, I’ll shout out, “Get the fuck out!” Sometimes I just want them to leave. [...]
What started as a dead Saturday afternoon, got crazy for one reason, Planet Social Sports. For those unfamiliar, they’re a group of men and women who get together to drink heavily, but prior to that some sort of softball, kickball, or flag football takes place. Much like the Hash House Harriers say they are a [...]
I pour a strong drink. It comes from being the my father’s son. You see my father was very specific about his beverages. At breakfast, he wanted coffee poured immediately, and at dinner, he wanted to be offered a drink, stat. It got awkward when he started ordering cocktails at breakfast, that’s when the beatings [...]