…and all through the bar, not a customer was stirring, not even a douche bag. Who you gotta fuck to sell a drink up in this piece?! I guess I deluded myself into thinking that people would come out on a Friday night, especially since the next day no one but a handful of food [...]
Yes, they capitalized “SANTA” because there were Santa hats as far as the eye could see. I know I said that you can spot the douce bag in a bar by the fact that he/she is wearing a Santa hat, and, yes, there were douche bags amongst the Santa hat wearers, but it seemed a [...]
I guess it’s this slow every year this time of year. I don’t know why. Do people say, “It’s almost Christmas, I’m gonna stop going out.” I’m sure the rain didn’t help. It was perhaps the slowest night of the year. Luckily, the bands brought some people. If it weren’t for the Carneys giving us [...]
I’ve got a test you can do in the next couple of weeks. If you’re in a bar and you want to find the biggest douche bag, look for the Santa Hat. If, of course, you find someone after the next thirteen days wearing a Santa Hat in a bar, they probably just have serious [...]
I know, I know. I’ve had more politically correct titles. The original title for this post was “The Abortion.” But then I feared people would think that the post would be about me knocking up some girl. In fact, I never have, because I learned at a young age that you can’t get a girl [...]