Foodies
Kara, a friend from the gym, would say, and I’m paraphrasing, “If you love food, we’re on our way to becoming good friends.” I carried that belief with me today at the Haiti Food Truck fundraiser at T-Lofts. I woke up this morning at quarter to eleven knowing that in fifteen minutes, twenty-one trucks would be gathering in one spot. I thought I should really go to the gym, especially after a heart-stopping lunch at Baby Blues, where my dear friend, Marv, nearly lost a limb trying to take a bite of the macaroni and cheese I ordered for the table. Look people, I’m all for sharing food, but if I order something for the table, pancakes, fettucini alfredo, or a Vermonster, I’m saying that I’m gonna eat it all, but since it’s for the table, it has no calories. Got it? Now that we have that rule to live by cleared up, let’s move on.
As you can probably guess, this post isn’t about my time at the gym today. I arrived at the T-Lofts on Tennessee Avenue in West L.A. just before noon. I plugged an hour into the meter thinking I’d be in and out in no time. I should’ve realized then and there that this isn’t sex. This might actually take a minute. I was overwhelmed to say the least. I’d read about @WilloughbyRoad, so I started there. I lead off with brisket tacos which came with cheese and Asian slaw. I started talking with a couple of fellows there who had a strategy of hitting as many trucks as possible and sharing. Sounded like a great idea to me. I got my tacos and gave them one. It was good, a little greasy, but the salty cheese (feta I believe) and the sweet slaw gave it a nice flavor. My next stop was the @nomnomtruck, whose specialty is banh mi. A banh mi is a Vietnamese Sub or a Cambodian Hoagie, let’s call it a South East Asian Grinder. What the fuck is up with all these names for a god damn po’ boy sandwich?! In any case, I left my choice in the hands of the cashier who ordered me a grilled pork banh mi. I had them cut it in half and shared it with my new friends. It was tasty, if heavy on the mayo. Me and my Red Sea pedestrian friends agree on a lot, but we tend to diverge on Mayonnaise. Personally, emulsified egg yolks and oil never hurt anyone, except through heart disease and arterial clogging. My new friends gave me a chicken wing from the @WilloughbyRoad truck. I grabbed it by the greasy, crunchy fried skin and it slipped through my fingers, landing splat on the ground. Everyone within a fifteen food radius stopped what they were doing and watched. “Five second rule.” “Ten Second Rule.” “I’d eat it at Sunset!” They shouted. I waited until a centipede circumnavigated my sidewalk wing, before picking it up. I was going at that bone like Cody Lane in “Big Cock Crisis” before realizing that I had eaten a leaf. I must say, leaf and all, it was a delicious chicken wing. I highly recommend it and would love to try one that never touched the sidewalk.
At the end of the street was @flyingpigtruck. Again I left my choice in the hands of the cashier who ordered me a pork belly bun and tamarind duck taco. While the pork belly was good, the bun, or bao-like tortilla was too much. I would like to try it on a corn tortilla next time. Now the tamarind duck taco was amazing. Best thing I have had at any truck. If you see the Flying Pig truck, get a tamarind duck taco, nuff’ said. I passed @fishlipssushi and headed for the @LA_Fuxion truck. I wasn’t going to get anything there until I saw Al Pastor tacos with Kimchi. Alas, they were out of the Al Pastor so I settled for a short rib taco with kimchi. It was like Avatar for me, just kind of eh. I passed by the @ButtermilkTruck, which had a healthy line, as did the @grlldcheesetruck. I had the @grlldcheesetruck on Tuesday after eating dinner at Whole Foods. What?! It’s not gluttony if you call it “dessert.” I decided on the grilled sharp cheddar with pork and caramelized onions. Loved the grilled cheese part, but the onions were too sweet and the pork didn’t add much.
I was getting full, but that wasn’t about to stop me. I’m a big fan of all food Mediterranean and Middle Eastern and saw the @LouksToGo truck. I don’t know what compelled me to get a Gyros, but I did. While I waited I chatted with one dude who was just like me except tatted, Mexican, and morbidly obese(r). This guy raved about the pulled pork sandwich with Asian slaw at the @WilloughbyRoad truck. Now with the exception of my few friends who rave about Point Break, which I haven’t seen, I’m curious about things that float other people’s boats. And how can I not try out a sandwich that a fat guy is endorsing? I took a few bites of my gyros, which low and behold, tasted like gyros. It was fine. If I had eaten it somewhere in my first twelve-thousand calories of the morning, I may have rated it higher. It was time for the pulled pork. My Mexican mirror image watched with a child’s amazement while I took my first bite. It was good, but a little too sweet for me. Again it may have suffered from being consumed pre-vomitorium visit.
I saw a guy deep throating a meatball sandwich from @VesuvioLA. In between gasping for breaths of sweet, sweet air, I believe he gave it three thumbs up. I was tempted, but figured gluttony is one thing…I forget what the other one is. In any case, stick a fork in my, I’m done. I usually associate the therm “foodie” with upper-middle class white people who fork over huge money to eat tiny portions of food in palatial settings. I was reminded today that being a foodie is just about loving food, whether it’s Wagyu Filet Mignon from Cut or a chorizo and cheese taco from Tacos Por Favor. The thing I love about a large gathering of food trucks is that it brings out the foodies.
