To Protect And Serve?
Sunday night was a good night. There were quite a few regulars in the bar. I wanted to hang out with them, but since they had been drinking for twelve hours and I hadn’t had a drink in nearly twenty-four, I chose to sequester myself in the office. It was about one ayem when I got the call from Brandon. The police were downstairs in Main and wanted to see me.
Growing up as a rebellious teen on the mean streets of Beverly Hills, I hated cops. I had no reason to dislike them, but it seemed like the thing to do at that age. As I’ve gotten older, I’ve learned to appreciate the police. Sure my sphincter constricts to three microns in diameter any time one of them begins to follow me while I’m driving, but like the servers here at O’ Brien’s, they have a thankless job. As a bartender and manager of a bar, I realize that it is in my best interest to cooperate in any way possible with law enforcement. So when I got the call, I glossed my lips, strapped on my knee pads, and ran downstairs. Now Saturday night, there was a scuffle at Main and one of the scufflers fell on some broken glass. Allegedly, he told the paramedic he was stabbed so a large police presence appeared. Understandable. We shut down the bar and everyone went home. In light of this incident, the officer informed me that they respond to many calls at our address. Personally, I know it was a problem months ago, but it seems to have been quiet as of late, but he’d know better than I. I told him if there was anything going on that was wrong in any way, I’d shut down the club, immediately. He informed me that there wasn’t a problem at the moment, but that quite a bit of the city’s resources were devoted to calls to our establishment. At this point, two other police cars pulled up with their lights on. I had to wonder: who’s depleting city resources now? It’s understandable. They get one look at me and know their dealing with America’s biggest nightmare: a thirty-nine year old Jew in a hoodie who doesn’t give a fuck.
The officer just asked to go inside and look at our liquor license and store room. I didn’t gloss my face labia and pad my knees for nothing. “Please, come right in,” I said. They say that the first thing you say when a cop asks to search your car is “No.” I figure, we’re part of the community, their part of the community, no problem. The officer walks behind the bar, picks up a bottle, and shines a light through the bottom. Ahhhhh SHIT! I know exactly what this is. It was about eight or nine years ago. I got back from a wedding and went straight to O’ Brien’s. The bar was shut down. Turns out the fire department, police, or A.B.C. came in because of an occupancy issue, checked the bottles, found fruit flies, and proceeded to close the bar on a Saturday night. So here I am, watching the police searching bottles for fruit flies. All I can think is that I’m the underpaid schlub who let the cops in and is about to get the place shut down. He set aside one bottle, then asked to see the store room. I let him in and he checked some of our stock which are all sealed, unopened bottles. Now I don’t know much about fruit flies, but if they can get into bottles that have never been opened, then maybe the F.D.A. should be looking into this issue, because, and I’m sure I’m not alone here, there should be higher standards for food and beverage packaging if insects can get inside a sealed bottle.
In the end, it was a courtesy call. The officer was very nice and I told him that I’d do anything to make his life easier. I get the feeling they’re gonna crawl up our asses for the next few weeks, which is fine, because we have nothing to hide. I’ve been a resident of Santa Monica for fifteen years and I can pretty much tell you that on weekends people tend to revel in two places: Main Street and The Promenade; ergo, I don’t know why there isn’t a bigger police presence in both places. Like I said earlier, I appreciate and respect police. But I have to wonder. Is it their responsibility to check for fruit flies? Shouldn’t it be the A.B.C. (Alcohol Beverage Control) or the Health Department? Again, we have nothing to hide, but by doing this, are they living up to their motto: to protect and serve?
Being an officer (not in your jurisdiction) for over 12 years, I can tell you that cops get saddled with all sorts of tasks that don’t seem to fall under the auspice of law enforcement/police work. I bet that officer was groaning when he was told to check for fruit flies and probably threw out more than one comment about it not being “real police work”.
ShoGunslinger good cop!!
I really appreciate your comment, ShoGunslinger. It makes me feel better. Thank you so much for reading.
David
The police are simply carrying out commands from above — most of the time these commands have to do with getting more money for the State.
In my personal experience, however, Los Angeles police are generally touchy, weak assholes, however, who probably got beat up a lot as kids. The badge and gun are like crack cocaine for them — finally they've got a little power. The gang mentality of the LAPD encourages this.
Stay as far away from LA cops (and chp and sherrifs) as you can. They don't like you any better than you like them. The grudges they carry usually last for a lifetime, and are only increased by the day to day contempt which the folks they are paid to harass give back to them.
They are basically government workers with guns.
A frightening thought.