Notes on a Cocktail Napkin

Sunday was pretty uneventful. After getting home late (or early) and not sleeping well, I spent the day on the couch. Now I’m not the biggest fan of sports but watching them: a) kills time, and b) they’re great to fall asleep to. That’s pretty much how I spent Sunday, watching football and falling asleep.

After getting in an amazing and much needed nap, I went to work. The kickball crowd was tapering off and the bar looked like it had been hit by a hurricane. Don’t get me wrong, I’d rather the bar look lived in, so to speak, and packed, than empty and spotless. The Eagles were playing the night game, so Kimi, and Brandon, from next door, were in to watch the game. Kimi did bring her posse of Mary Kate, Dawn, and April, but I don’t believe they paid much attention to the game. They were just there for moral support. I like when my employees come in to the bar, when they’re not working. Like anyone who walks in, they could get a drink anywhere, but they choose to come to O’ Brien’s. Personally, when I’m not working, I avoid the place like the plague, fifty hours a week is enough. As a manager, I can give out drinks at will. I know some managers and non-managers would buy drinks for every hot chick who walked in the bar. It’s actually a good practice, because the more hot chicks you have, the more dudes will eventually walk in and stay. Also, if the hot chicks get drunk enough, they may fall down on your dick. In any case, four of the five people at the table work here and it was my pleasure to buy them drinks, just to show my appreciation for all their hard work.

There aren’t many fires to put out as a manager. I’m there to run food, make the occasional drink, or bus tables, if necessary. Otherwise, I’m there to close up at night and deal with the money. Sunday there happened to be a customer complaining about his bill. He was one of the kick ballers and sat at a table with a few others well after the rest had gone home. It must have been someone’s birthday, because they sang happy birthday half a dozen times in two hours. Turns out this guy goes to close out his tab and it has two Absolut Ruby Reds on it and nothing else. He told me that he rang up a seventy dollar tab and didn’t know what these drinks were. My favorite employee, who took the order, said a woman ordered the drinks. I wasn’t clear on what exactly happened since I heard “drinks not ordered” and “seventy dollar tab”, so I gave him back his card and deleted the drinks. I was wrong. After thinking about it, I should’ve asked him if he gave his card to anyone else. If not, how the fuck did it end up behind my bar. But since I lacked sleep and the ability to reason, I chose the path of least resistance. In the long run, comping two drinks to make a customer happy isn’t the worst thing in the world, but I may have to have a word with him come next Sunday.

After the game, the bar thinned out. I went up to the office to look over the new menu. We used to have a three page fold out menu which would get wet and moldy. Nicole had the brilliant idea to put the menu on one page, double-sided, and laminate it. Occasionally, people have such brilliant ideas that are so simple that I can’t believe it didn’t come up sooner. This is one of those ideas. One of the great things about these menus is you can just wipe them off. No mold. Brilliant. After editing the menu, it was time for a smoke break. When I returned, I sat in my chair and fell asleep. I believe I was snoring because I would become conscious for the briefest second. Although I was notorious for sleeping at my old job, I never thought it would happen here. It’s great work if you can find it. When I awoke, it was one-fifteen. I went downstairs and finished up and drove home as fast as I could. I had to get to sleep, again. I’ll make sure to be better rested next Sunday, in case some drunk tries to hoodwink me in to comping two Absolut Ruby Red.

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