INSANITY
The caps lock is a funny button. I know a handful of people who use it indiscriminately. Yesterday, I went with Kimi to see Vicky Christina Barcelona, a film which I abhorred. Sitting through these long winded scenes with characters I cared nothing for, talking like they were in a play, I decided to check my e-mail. I received an one from my Father, which was written with the caps lock button down. Now, he’s not the only one who does this. I only reference him because after we finished watching ninety-seven minutes of vapid, pretentiousness, I brought it up to Kimi. She mentioned that in her writing (Kimi’s in her 20’s so I guess it’s all texting) she will occasionally use the caps lock to set off a word. From that conversation, if I could only see into the future then I would’ve have known that there would be one word that I would capitalize all throughout my blog: INSANITY!
Why do I use the caps lock for this word on this day? Yes, you guessed it. We failed our third inspection. My bar is still closed. Knowing one’s shortcomings is a very important quality for a leader. Now I’m no leader (at least not professionally), but one of my shortcomings is that I’m a bit of a slob. What do I do about this? In college, I wallowed in it. I never threw out my newspapers. I just left them strewn across the floor. Friends referred to my place as the bird cage. As I got older and tired of living a slovenly life, I hired someone to clean my place. Because we all know, it’s hard to bang chicks when you’ve got newspapers covering every inch of your floor. Trust me, I’ve tried. Now a rodent problem isn’t something you can clean away. There is an entire industry devoted to eradicating these pests. I can’t tell you if there are still rats at my place of work, but what I can tell you is there are signs of these varmints. There are professionals whose job it is to clean these places top to bottom. What I’ve learned over these last few days is throwing A 38 year old Jew at the problem isn’t the solution.
The definition of INSANITY is doing the same thing over and over, expecting a different result. Having non-professionals clean the bar hasn’t worked so far. From the moment we were shut down, perhaps months earlier, a professional exterminator and cleaning crew should’ve been brought in. We are now looking at our sixth day of closure. All I can do is pray we open on Friday. It’s funny how vermin infestation can a make me, an non-religious agnostic, pray. All I want to do is go to work: make some money, get people drunk, help ugly people get laid. That’s my job. You know the drill. We must pass inspection tomorrow because I can’t take any more of this INSANITY!
***INSANITY was not the original title of this piece. I changed it because I love my job. Can anyone out there guess the original title?
Is six days a record? It’s gotta be.
that movie was pure shit. here here!
was “CAPS LOCK” the original title?
why didn’t you call this piece, BANG CHICKS all in caps? My god, man….
Is it MULEDICK?
Gosh, I miss that place…