Fast Kicking, Low Scoring, and TIES!!!
Like everything else, The Simpsons describes soccer to a T. The UEFA Champions League final was today. I’m sure I’m not ruining it for my tivoing readership when I tell you that Manchester United defeated Chelsea on penalty kicks. What that means is that they played two 45 minutes halves, then two 15 minutes overtime periods to arrive at said penalty kicks. Soccer gets a bad rap in this country, because as the title states it consists of low scoring and ties. The former applies to baseball but because the American past time has such a presence in our brief history I guess people put up with it. Author Nick Hornby has another view of low scoring in soccer, and I’m paraphrasing, that goals are better than orgasms because you know when you’re about to have an orgasm while a goal is a surprise. Americans can look down upon this low scoring sport but what is more interesting if either team will score in soccer or who will score the final two points out of 220 in a basketball game? I will watch the Lakers vs. Spurs tonight, but in all honesty, I could watch the last couple of minutes and still be happy. I can’t say that about a soccer match. Soccer will probably never catch on here like it has in the rest of the world for a couple of reasons. First, it’s two 45 minutes halves are not conducive to commercial television; therefore, the money isn’t there. Second, since there is so much money in other sports, such as football and basketball, most high school and college athletes gravitate towards those sports. I would love to see if New Orleans Hornets guard Chris Paul was raised on soccer, what our national team would look like. In fact, I wish we could’ve raised 20 of our best skilled football and basketball players on soccer. We probably would have won the world cup by now. By the way, if we ever do win the world cup, the rest of the world will quit soccer.
