We had a pretty raucous afternoon beginning with the rugby team, then a couple of pub crawls, and the topper, a bachelorette party. Prior to working at my bar, I used to refer to it as the best gay bar in Santa Monica, because the appearance of a woman was rare. Thank God for that [...]
First the holocaust, now this. I was tempted to title this post, “Worst Night Ever.” I didn’t change it because the night wasn’t that bad, it was. I just want to save that title for when something really bad happens, like the bar gets hit by an asteroid (hopefully on my night off.) Kimi saw [...]
Bartenders and whores have many things in common. Most importantly, they are both occupations for the young. I know that aging bartenders move to day shifts or the airport and I’m sure whores aren’t much different. Every once in a while I’m reminded of my age. Yesterday it was merely minutes after I clocked in [...]
I don’t know if I’ve ever enjoyed a St. Patrick’s Day since I began bartending. At it’s best, it’s a tsunami of drunks yelling and screaming for your attention in the sheer hope that their next car bomb will make them black out and forget all about St. Patrick’s Day. At it’s worst, it’s three [...]
If I were to open a bar, I would just call it “Birthdays” and try and get everyone to celebrate their birthday at my bar. Much like the genius behind Chuck E. Cheese, which I presume is predominantly for celebrating birthdays, since I’m neither parent nor pedophile, I can’t attest to whether people go to [...]
For those who read last weekend about the occasional drip that amounted to Chinese water torture, it turned into a leak. A drip I can deal with, a leak makes me think that it will only get bigger until the roof caves in on my head. Call me a pessimist, I can take the criticism, [...]
I didn’t recognize him. The man who set the land speed record for douche bag of the night in twelve minutes and I didn’t even recognize him. For those who don’t remember Sullivan who if he were an action hero, his tag line would be, “Who do think is more Irish?” you can read about [...]
I hate to be a traitor to my gender but if there was a theme at the bar last night it’s that dudes have no game. Any time I make a blanket statement like Venetians don’t bathe, Silverlake breeds hipster douche bags, or Brits and Aussies don’t tip, I’m invariably proven wrong. (Not with any [...]
Saturday should’ve been epic. First of all, it was SATURDAY. Second of all, it was nearly eighty degrees in Santa Monica. I figured if there was gonna be a Saturday that was a vast improvement over the joke of a night Friday was, it would’ve been last night. It was better, if only for a [...]
I truly believe that a rising tide raises all ships. So when I heard about the gangbusters business that the Basement Tavern was doing I was over the moon for them. Those moon shot feelings have dissipated since I’ve heard for the fiftieth time how there’s a line out the door for them and for [...]